Driving down the dark hill, I slow as I draw near the unlighted driveway. The AA meetings in the old psych hospital are some of my favorite. Most of the patients are new to the program, and I've already heard the stories the regulars have, so hearing a pearl is rare, but seeing the light finally come on in someone who’s been trying to get sober for years is a fun experience, and being part of it is the best kind of service work.
.
I park my Toyota in the one remaining handicapped parking place and limp in to the meeting. I look forward to meetings. The sense of purpose and camaraderie among people who have been coming for years is always the same. Somewhere the AA Big book says we share a bond like passengers rescued from a sinking ship. I think it’s something you have to feel to understand.
The meeting turns out to be on Step 2. Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. It seems only a little ironic that a meeting held in a psych ward would be about being restored to sanity, but the fact is that this step applies to all of us. After all, our best thinking put us in places that eventually got us to that meeting.
.
I look around the table at the 15 or so people, 12 of whom are patients, and remember that God frequently shows up in the form of a person who needs help. Helping others is the best way I’ve found to get my mind off my problems. As important as that was my discovery that spiritual principles will solve all my problems.
.
Like is frequently true at that meeting, one of the patients helplessly bemoans the fact that no matter what she does she can’t stay sober. “The problem is Step 2,” she almost wails.
“Other people I know are working the steps and getting sober, but I keep getting hung up on step 2. How am I supposed to believe that a power I can’t see or smell or touch is going to help me stay sober. He’s never done anything else for me. Why would he do this?”
.
I happen to be sitting almost directly across the table from the woman. I remember reading on page 27 of 12 Steps and 12 Traditions Bill W’s experience with Step 2. One reason I like this psych ward meeting is that cross talk is permitted, even encouraged.
.
“My name’s Al,” I say. “I’m an alcoholic.”
.
“Hi Al,”
.
I pause looking at the wall over her head, trying to remember what Bill W. said. "The steps build on each other,” I say, "so it's important to do them in order, but that involves our being willing. In relation to Step 2, Bill said that he couldn’t say when he finally came to believe in a power greater than himself, but he certainly has that belief now. To acquire it,” he said, “I only had to practice the rest of AA’s program as enthusiastically as possible.”
.
With her hopeful gaze moving between me and the guy chairing the meeting, the woman says,
.
“You mean all I have to do to is do the rest of the Steps and I’ll believe in a higher power?”
.
The guy chairing the meeting smiles and says, “It’s that simple, but it's not easy.”
.
The meeting lets out soon after that. The other regulars and I head out to the parking lot where we stand in the dim light talking about all kinds of stuff before getting in our cars and heading home. Thank you for that woman God, help her to get it, I'm praying as I head back up the dark hill.
.
I park my Toyota in the one remaining handicapped parking place and limp in to the meeting. I look forward to meetings. The sense of purpose and camaraderie among people who have been coming for years is always the same. Somewhere the AA Big book says we share a bond like passengers rescued from a sinking ship. I think it’s something you have to feel to understand.
The meeting turns out to be on Step 2. Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. It seems only a little ironic that a meeting held in a psych ward would be about being restored to sanity, but the fact is that this step applies to all of us. After all, our best thinking put us in places that eventually got us to that meeting.
.
I look around the table at the 15 or so people, 12 of whom are patients, and remember that God frequently shows up in the form of a person who needs help. Helping others is the best way I’ve found to get my mind off my problems. As important as that was my discovery that spiritual principles will solve all my problems.
.
Like is frequently true at that meeting, one of the patients helplessly bemoans the fact that no matter what she does she can’t stay sober. “The problem is Step 2,” she almost wails.
“Other people I know are working the steps and getting sober, but I keep getting hung up on step 2. How am I supposed to believe that a power I can’t see or smell or touch is going to help me stay sober. He’s never done anything else for me. Why would he do this?”
.
I happen to be sitting almost directly across the table from the woman. I remember reading on page 27 of 12 Steps and 12 Traditions Bill W’s experience with Step 2. One reason I like this psych ward meeting is that cross talk is permitted, even encouraged.
.
“My name’s Al,” I say. “I’m an alcoholic.”
.
“Hi Al,”
.
I pause looking at the wall over her head, trying to remember what Bill W. said. "The steps build on each other,” I say, "so it's important to do them in order, but that involves our being willing. In relation to Step 2, Bill said that he couldn’t say when he finally came to believe in a power greater than himself, but he certainly has that belief now. To acquire it,” he said, “I only had to practice the rest of AA’s program as enthusiastically as possible.”
.
With her hopeful gaze moving between me and the guy chairing the meeting, the woman says,
.
“You mean all I have to do to is do the rest of the Steps and I’ll believe in a higher power?”
.
The guy chairing the meeting smiles and says, “It’s that simple, but it's not easy.”
.
The meeting lets out soon after that. The other regulars and I head out to the parking lot where we stand in the dim light talking about all kinds of stuff before getting in our cars and heading home. Thank you for that woman God, help her to get it, I'm praying as I head back up the dark hill.
2 comments:
Yes! If it weren't for that higher power, I think, we'd all be sunk. I know God has truly helped me in my recovery. He gives me the strength to keep getting up & pressing on.
Also Al, VERY good comment to that lady at your AAA meeting!
Post a Comment