More on Differences

“How comfortable we are with someone else’s differences has more to do with how comfortable we are with ourserves than it does with who they are.”

“Huh? How can being comfortable with who we are help us to accept the differences between ourselves and someone else?”

Ok, here are some common situations where being comfortable with your own differences can minimize the problems other people’s differences may create:

1. Parents & their children, teachers & students, a boss & employees, or coworkers. Any of these people will be most effective If they are comfortable enough with themselves to not take negative behavior personally, to accept their children, students, employees or coworkers as they are and to not have unrealistic expectations of them.

2. Between people with visible disabilities and people without visible disabilities.
The more comfortable I am as a person with disabilities and with the fact that there are some things people with disabilities can’t do, the fewer expectations I will put on someone without disabilities. The fewer expectations I put on someone else, the fewer opportunities there are for me to be disappointed and resentful.

For example, say I haven’t accepted living as a person with disabilities and I go camping or to the beach with friends who don’t have disabilities. Unless I get comfortable living within the limits Imposed by my disabilities, I will either want them to limit their activities to ones I can do with them or I will feel sorry for myself while they do things I can’t participate In.

3. Between cultures, political parties & religions.
Anybody who has tried to change someone else’s opinion concerning their views on politics or religion knows It Is almost always best to avoid these subjects when you want to maintain an amiable level of conversation.
The animosity and anger these topics generate is perhaps a clue that sometimes the best way to maintain cordial relations is accept each other’s differences by agreeing to disagree.

The bottom line Is that the world Is like a box of crayons, which I talked about in my last post.